08-22-2025, 05:00 PM
I'm dramatically resisting pulling because I'm 9 pulls away from a 5* and I just know that if I use even just one tiny ticket it will trigger a card and I'll find myself back at square 0 with the pity system for the next banner, so I'm proving to myself I can stop whenever I want. I swear, I can.
bwahahah! I KNOW THESE FEELS! and you have traditionally had the worst luck on trying to squinch closer to the finish line on the pity system so stay strong, my brethren, hold that line.
The beach background! The sea actually moves!
holy shit, really? now i'm super excited! i pretended i was flush with money like a rich person and bought the red swimsuit for the girlfriend (along with the yellow one i got with the free box) so I'm gonna lounge like a real beach babe in my artfully stylized thirst trap shots.
imposter syndrome isn't something that you should be worrying about
so easy to say, so hard to do sometimes.
to be kind of real for a moment, i personally love my writing. is that okay to say out loud? i love the way i think narratively speaking and i love the things i have to say and i love watching the characters drive themselves at full speed into brick walls. they always say "write for you" and i take that to serious heart, i re-read my own favorite pieces all the time and think to myself "that was perfect, i wouldn't change a single word".
except... i do. i am forever agonizing over sentence structure and debating the merits of "grip" verses "convulsed". i wrote a smut piece for Reylo that i personally think is the hottest thing ever because it hits all MY buttons for angry yearning.
AND THEN THERE IS NOW. i have all these ideas and i try to write them and i am frustrated with every second sentence. its like... i don't have a grasp of what i'm actually trying to say? i like stories to say something, to highlight something, to showcase a feeling that exists for four seconds and then is gone again. i am not prolific, my sweet spot is around the 5-10k mark because i like to hit a thing and then just contemplate the wreckage around it but i have ten different starts on things, some of which i posted here, and i look at them and feel... lost and crabby.
can i be lost and crabby? this is something i want to do but i'm tripping over my own damn feet worrying about it, halfway between having forgotten how to swim and being angry at the floaty water wings i'm wearing as i try and dogpaddle.
ALSO: if you are writing AT ALL, feel completely free to post a sentence here or there. you know. if you want. no pressure.
bwahahah! I KNOW THESE FEELS! and you have traditionally had the worst luck on trying to squinch closer to the finish line on the pity system so stay strong, my brethren, hold that line.
The beach background! The sea actually moves!
holy shit, really? now i'm super excited! i pretended i was flush with money like a rich person and bought the red swimsuit for the girlfriend (along with the yellow one i got with the free box) so I'm gonna lounge like a real beach babe in my artfully stylized thirst trap shots.
imposter syndrome isn't something that you should be worrying about
so easy to say, so hard to do sometimes.
to be kind of real for a moment, i personally love my writing. is that okay to say out loud? i love the way i think narratively speaking and i love the things i have to say and i love watching the characters drive themselves at full speed into brick walls. they always say "write for you" and i take that to serious heart, i re-read my own favorite pieces all the time and think to myself "that was perfect, i wouldn't change a single word".
except... i do. i am forever agonizing over sentence structure and debating the merits of "grip" verses "convulsed". i wrote a smut piece for Reylo that i personally think is the hottest thing ever because it hits all MY buttons for angry yearning.
AND THEN THERE IS NOW. i have all these ideas and i try to write them and i am frustrated with every second sentence. its like... i don't have a grasp of what i'm actually trying to say? i like stories to say something, to highlight something, to showcase a feeling that exists for four seconds and then is gone again. i am not prolific, my sweet spot is around the 5-10k mark because i like to hit a thing and then just contemplate the wreckage around it but i have ten different starts on things, some of which i posted here, and i look at them and feel... lost and crabby.
can i be lost and crabby? this is something i want to do but i'm tripping over my own damn feet worrying about it, halfway between having forgotten how to swim and being angry at the floaty water wings i'm wearing as i try and dogpaddle.
ALSO: if you are writing AT ALL, feel completely free to post a sentence here or there. you know. if you want. no pressure.
